Dan's Metal Memory of the Month: 2/07

I hate to pile one metal entry on top of another, but it is that time of the month again. Looking back through my catalog of embarrassing hair bands, I found one of my old favorites from 1986, "Trilogy" by Yngwie Malmsteen. This music video ballad is yet another example of heavy metal musician turned fine actor. Born born Lars Johann Yngve (pronounced "ing-vay") Lannerbäck, this Swedish "shred" guitarist/composer was part of the so-called "Neo-Classical" metal genre. That is, those guys who excelled in classical music in high school but couldn't bare the thought of spending life in the orchestra pit. (Also, his middle name is Johann and his son's name is Antonio Vivaldi... get it yet?) The boy just fell in love with the hard stuff. To quote his website, "The day Jimi Hendrix died, the guitar-playing Yngwie was born". Although he's had guest vocalists on board, he's maintained the star spot in his band since its inception. While he's been nominated for a Grammy, Yngwie has always proven to be just another good 'ol drugged-up headbanger throw-back from the '80s... On tour with his 2005 release "Unleash the Fury," the young Viking chief - that's what 'Yngwie' means, apparently - passed out drunk in an airport and was roused by a woman pouring a jug of ice water on him. Enraged, he jumped up and shouted, "You've unleashed the fucking fury!" You still got it, Yngwie.

A Short History of Sabbath and Myself.

This week, my pal from Nebraska (also a former teen metalhead, hailed from the Northeast), scored two pre-sale Heaven & Hell - a.k.a. Black Sabbath - concert tix. Reuniting with Dio, the band's 1980-83 Ozzy replacement, to promote their new CD box set, "Black Sabbath: The Dio Years," Heaven & Hell recently announced the first leg of their 2007 tour. Before heading off to the heavy metal hot spots of Eastern Europe, such as Bulgaria, H&H will offer an exclusive one-night-only solo performance at NYC's Radio City Music Hall. My pal and I have secured orchestra row seats for this March 30th show! (I know, at first I thought playing to a classic fixed seat venue seemed weird for a famous metal band... but Ronnie Dio himself is pushing 65.)

This event will mark another reunion. A Dan Bummer - Black Sabbath reunion... So, I started digging through some old boxes to trace this history...


Hand-Me-Downs: I think my path to bad music started when I was about 13. An older cousin had given me the vinyl of his youth, including Zeppelin, Judas Priest, Deep Purple and Sabbath records. By 14, this lead me to '80s metal bands like Scorpions, Iron Maiden and Dio. When I realized that Ronnie James Dio had once been the frontman for Rainbow and Black Sabbath, I quickly consumed this discography, too. At first, I recall pouring over the strange (now embarrassing) lyrics of songs like "Sign of the Southern Cross," "Children of the Sea," or "Voo-Doo." Rather than focus on my homework at night, I'd spend hours illustrating each track in pen and ink (as a student I failed miserably at math, but excelled in art - see above drawing from age 15). Looking back at these bizarre renditions, I question why my parents or art teachers never sent me to a therapist.

True Love Always: It was in this period that I left my dark little room and discovered girls... particularly girls who shared a love for loud hair bands. That seemed to be the main prerequisite for both parties. In the image above, one of my first girlfriends thanks me for purchasing her a Dio concert T in celebration of her birthday. (Notice we also share the same haircut, known as the pre-headbanger mullet.)

Blackout: By 16, habitual use of select depressants and hallucinogenics took hold and made concert-going a forgetful experience, but I did manage to save most of the ticket stubs as proof. This time around, I hope to soak up the full experience missed in my hazy youth: the big hair of my fellow music lovers (of course, all those headbanger's manes have probably thinned out significantly by now), the thick, cloudy mixture of smoke in the air (wait - there's no smoking permitted in concerts anymore), and Geezer Butler's thundering bass (Oh, I have to remember to bring earplugs this time - it gets really loud in those rock shows). In any case, it is meant to be. Above, notice that my last Black Sabbath show date was on "March 30, 1986." Is it chance that the reunion concert is March 30, 2007? 21 years to the day later? I think not. The stars (or rainbows, or whatever) must be aligned for a grand night.

Reunited: How I managed to survive my teen years, I'll never really know. Did Sabbath's silly lyrics and ominous music corrode my adolescent mind or help me see through the fog of rural teendom? The photo above is the last remaining artifact of my former life as a metalhead. Shortly after this picture was taken, I cut off my mop and slowly replaced my Slayer and Motorhead albums with Throwing Muses and The Smiths CDs (the '80s were coming to a close, so I had a lot of musical catching up to do). Even my subject matter for art evolved from overly literal Satanic metaphors on paper. As stated in an earlier entry, it's only recently that I've begun to un-earth (even embrace) my own heavy metal history. I think this process of mining one's past for clues to the present is healthy. Who you were then made you who you are now, right? Otherwise, wasn't it all just a waste of time?

Il buono, il brutto & il cattivo (Movie Review #3)

The good: Notes on a Scandal is probably the best film I saw in 2006... at minimum, it holds the finest performance of the year (Judi Dench as the delightfully evil, aging high school teacher Barbara Covett). While most movies that use a character's narration to thread the film together have little effect, Covett's VO is crucial. You thought Dan was a Bummer? Just wait until you witness Dench's character slide from mere sarcasm into pure darkness. As good as watching Liz Taylor in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? The bad: The Joy of Life, a documentary about suicide on the Golden Gate Bridge (no, not the one that documents poor souls taking the dreaded leap), starts out promising and then commits a sort of suicide of its own. Roughly in three acts, the first is a steady but long reading of a butch diary over beautiful, ghostly static shots of San Francisco. You sort of hanker down and settle into this running narration, mainly because you assume there's a pay-off in the end. It's foreign, terribly personal, and vulnerable, which is another reason you listen in. The second act is a VO film analysis. The third act is a report of the filmmaker's study of the bridge's history of attracting jumpers, told in a manner 180 degrees different than the opening narration - both in tone and content. This Sundance pic from '05 wasn't "ugly," just bad. I ended up feeling really ripped away from what what I was promised in the open. Not a great ride. The ugly: Children of Men. While based on an intriguing premise, the film version never really goes anywhere. A looooooong chase and many deaths throughout a bleak landscape (impressive art direction) of the not-so-distant future UK. There were a few nice touches: Clive Owen's un-masculine flip-flops, the un-American-ness of it all, and the odd jarring moments of action were nicely handled. Otherwise, save it for a rental.

Dio, Inducted!

'Ol Ronnie James, the elf-man, finally got recognized for his mighty contribution to music with an imprint of his hands (horns, actually) on a sidewalk in Hollywood. Let's just hope someone sweeps that public shrine once in a while. Dio was honored at a ceremony alongside Terry Bozzio (Frank Zappa drummer) and Slash (the mute dude with the Dr. Seuss hat from Guns 'n Roses). Could've been a worse pairing, I suppose...

Ani-Mystic Case Study #2, #3 and #4

After the overwhelming popularity of the original report, a couple more requests for ani-mystic consultations have been processed, including Dan's own profile...

Nick-Name: DAN
Primary Animal: RING-TAILED LEMUR
Traits: The Ring-tailed Lemur has a slender frame and their narrow face is white with black lozenge-shaped patches around the eyes. This species also has claws on the second toe of the hind limb specialized for grooming purposes.
Secondary Critter: FRUIT BAT (aka FLYING FOX), WALKING STICK

Nick-Name: BILLY
Primary Animal: POLAR BEAR
Traits: The Polar or Northern Bear is well-adapted to its environment and is at the top of the Arctic food chain. While imposing, they are known to be extremely goofy and playful, especially with it offspring.
Secondary Critter: ALBATROSS, DUNG BEETLE


Nick-Name: 'CHELLEY
Primary Animal: RED KANGAROO
Traits: The largest (and longest) marsupial, the Red Kangaroo is a vegetarian who craves dry, open spaces. They are unable to walk, but can jump as high as 28 feet in the air!
Secondary Critter: RACCOON, MANTIS

Dan's Metal Memory of the Month: 1/07

1970 was a good year. Dan was born. The Chicago 7 were acquitted. Elvis announced his first concert tour since 1958. Deep Purple released "Black Night." Now, while some metal fans dismiss DP as simply an old rock band, scholars put them at the top of the family tree of grand-daddy headbangers along with Hendrix, Zeppelin and Sabbath. This video is another beautiful look back at how Ritchie Blackmore wearing a Pilgrim's hat always looked sort of stupid. The song is still worth a listen though.

Tick, Tock, 2007

While not a huge fan of New Year's Eve bashes (as the calendar struck Y2K, ODA and I retreated all the way up to a secluded cabin on a frozen lake in Maine to sip non-vintage bubbly in peace), I had a blast ringing in 2007 with pals at Micki & Harley's lovely wedding at the NYC Fire Museum!

Maureen and Tina "sign the guestbook" in the digital photo-booth

New Year's Eve paparazzi spotted our own celeb, Matt - all the way from the Kaw River!

Tina poses with Matt's better half, Melissa (also back in town from the flatlands of Kansas)

The true stars of the evening, Micki & Harley, dance and eat (because they heard that you forget to eat on your wedding night, they hired their own waitress just to make sure they were fed regularly -- BRILLIANT!)

And as the clock strikes midnight, Ned contemplates a resolution...

Laura & Bill mingle...

Maureen & Matthew dip...

Tina shakes her thing...

and Don toots his horn.

HAPPY 2007!

(But wait, let's not forget what good things came in the form of media in 2006...)

Dan's 5 Favorite Films: The Devil and Daniel Johnston, The Proposition, Volver, Notes on a Scandal, Pan's Labrynth

Bummer's Runner-Up Movies: Little Children, Little Miss Sunshine, Borat, The Good Shepherd, Last King of Scotland

Dan's 5 Favorite Albums: Cat Power "The Greatest," Bright Eyes "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning," Damien Rice "9," José González "Veneer," The Decemberists "Picaresque" (I know, technically it was a 2005 release, but I just got it!)

Bummer's Runner-Up Music: Pirate Ballads, Sea Songs & Chanteys "Rogue's Gallery," Adem "Love and Other Planets," Destroyer (aka: Dan Bejar) "Destroyer's Rubies," The Sword "Age of Winters," Say Hi To Your Mom "Impeccable Blahs"

Oh, and to start off the New Year with a little wisdom, Harley gave us all a noodle-making demo the next afternoon at the Oriental Food Restaurant in Chinatown!